Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
