oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
