no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
