Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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