My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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