woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
