hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
