Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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