Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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