Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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