just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
