What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize