I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
