UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
