he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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