David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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