Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
