In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
