I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
