So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
