Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
