he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
