Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
