It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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