fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
