you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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