I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
