Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I could fuck to npr.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
