hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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