She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
