Porn is love you can see.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
