bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
