i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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