If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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