You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
