operation harelip BJ is a go
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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