if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
