He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
