My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
