So drunk its hurt
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
