there was a trapeze. enough said
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
