I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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