You can't motorboat a personality
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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