After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
