You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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