I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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