Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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