and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
