we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
