after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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