I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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