I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
