So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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