yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
