I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
