well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
