Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's always time for handjobs
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
