1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
