I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
