whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
