Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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