ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
