There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
