I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize