; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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