I puked a lego.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize