I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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