the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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