ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
