Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
