I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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