thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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