Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
