Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
3pm strippers are depressing
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
