He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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