Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck me I smell like cheese
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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