I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
