Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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