i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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