i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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